Never Alone
by RavenCry
Summary: Kathryn is left in a distraught state of mind when a best friend, possibly lover, is lost in a tragic accident. Story written in a single day, slightly thrown together. One shot. [JC]


Star Trek Voyager:

The Ghost of You

---

She laid across the bed, hand clutching a tissue that was well past its use. Crimson hair spilled over her shoulder's and back, unkept for a day or so. Her cheeks were no longer a rose color, but became sallow over the past two days. She seemed to be ill, but it was not a physical condition. She thought she was to be sick at any moment, although there was nothing in her stomach. She hadn't eaten for three days, and couldn't bring food anywhere close to her mouth. Unable to eat . . . unable to sleep . . . unable to Captain her ship.

Command had transferred to Tuvok, for the time being, although normal circumstances would have left Chakotay with the Command Codes. Chakotay, however, was the cause of the crew's current condition. Captain Kathryn Janeway could not even close her eyes without seeing his face before her. No physical torture could be worse, for her heart was being compressed little by little as time went on. The guilt of it all was crushing the normally strong Captain, and she often found her mind reviewing the exact events of that day.

* * *

The shuttle hovered above the small planet, Kathryn and Chakotay scanning the surface. Kathryn glanced over at him, watching him work. His dark hair was slightly ruffled from the long hours he had been forced to stay awake, but his chocolate colored eyes were focused and determined. She bit her lower lip to refrain a smile, and then went back to looking over the planet's condition.

"This is where the distress call is coming from, Captain." He confirmed, looking at the lush world. He didn't need to run tests to know that the environment was suitable for life. Forests and lakes could be seen, supposedly in the middle of summer. It reminded him of earth.

"All right then, I'm taking us to the surface." She said, beginning the landing process. They came closer and closer, when they suddenly hit turbulence. The ship shook dangerously, almost throwing the Captain from her seat at such a shock.

"What's happening?" She demanded, looking over at Chakotay.

"...I don't know!" He said, when they suddenly seemed to cut through the invisible shield. Just as the ship steadied, the planet which they had been looking at changed dramatically. The surface was now dark and rocky. It was as though the entire thing had suddenly died before their eyes.

"What's going on?" Chakotay asked, quickly running more scans.

"...I'm turning us around." She said, beginning to put in the coordinates back to Voyager. He almost protested, but upon looking at the dying planet again, did not object.

"What about the distress signal? What-?"

He was cut off as Kathryn turned the ship to face a void of complete blackness.

"Where are the stars?" She asked, taking a sharp breath.

"I think whatever we came through was some sort of an illusion. The actual barrier we were passing through . . . is what we're facing now." He said, scanning it. Mid-analysis the ship gave another lurch.

"We're being pulled to the planet's surface!" He confirmed, the shuttle moving backwards at an increasing rate.

"Reroute our course! Try to pick up speed to move us forward!" She commanded, to which he attempted her orders. As he finished a sequence of buttons, the ship groaned, suddenly moving faster toward the surface.

"I don't understand," He said, trying again. Another groan and the ship's hull began to seem to split apart. "The faster I try to go forward, the hold on us doubles each time!" He said, abandoning the attempt.

"We're going down, landing or not . . . " She said gravely, when the floor beneath her feet seemed to split.

"We're going to be blown apart if this crack hits the engine!" Chakotay said, looking down at it. "What's strong enough to split right through our shields and ship like butter?" He asked, looking at the Captain again. Before she had time to answer, they were both thrown to the metallic floor. By the time Chakotay opened his eyes they were pressed against the wall behind the control station. Kathryn's limp form was laying next to him, and he reached to pull her up. The ship was spinning out of control, and as it hit another wave of unknown energy, it was flipped.

They hit the ceiling and proceeded to roll across what had become the new floor. Chakotay reached out and grabbed the Captain's arm, pulling her to him. The ship made another roll and he found himself back on the floor. She was beneath him now, and he pulled her head up against his chest. The impact would come any minute, the entire shuttle bathed in red light to indicate an emergency.

He heard a loud, near deafening explosion, and a blast of light flashed before his eyes. Everything turned to black after that.

Kathryn opened her eyes weakly, staring up into a black nothingness. She was dizzy and disoriented, not to mention the pain running through her right arm. She could see smoke and dust floating above her, now that she concentrated on it, she could tell how blurry her vision was. Like smoke she tried to grasp onto fleeting memories that couldn't come into her grasp. What had caused her to be here? Wherever here was, that is. With effort she moved her neck to one side, seeing a rocky landscape littered with debris.

She gave a soft whimper as she turned the other way, and saw the burning remains of a shuttle. She flinched against an effort to sit up, and glanced to her right again, seeing a deep gash in her shoulder. Blood was running down her arm and mingling in her hair. Silver beads were scattered around her, along with a burned ribbon. She recognized it as a hair band Chakotay had given her.

Chakotay!

She made a greater effort to rise, and managed to lean on her left elbow. A short way away she could see him, outlined against the base of a large boulder. She prayed his body had not struck it. Attempting to come to her feet, she found herself half stumbling and half crawling to reach him.

"Chakotay!" She attempted to yell. Her throat was as dry as paper, and she sounded as though she had been deprived of water for multiple days. He was unmoving, no matter how many times she called his name, he didn't respond. She finally reached him, and turned him over. Blood covered his face, but it only seemed to be from a few scratches on his cheeks. His shirt was torn across his chest, and burns and bruises were littered over his tan skin.

She tried to rouse him again, after checking his pulse and assuring herself that he was alive. He finally gave a sign of consciousness, even if it was nothing more than a soft groan.

"Chakotay, can you hear me?" The Captain asked, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

"Captain?" He asked weakly, eyes still closed.

"Yes, I'm here . . . " She responded, an actual happy smile crossing her features. She looked around, not seeing anything that indicated other life forms. What was giving off the distress signal? Deciding it may never be known, she turned back to him.

"Do you remember anything about the crash?" She asked him, to which he waited to respond. For a moment she thought he had lost consciousness again, but his eyes opened slowly.

"Not much . . . but its coming back slowly." He replied, trying to move. He flinched as he found that fragments of the ship's outer layer had cut into his back after he was thrown from the ripped open floor. He felt her supporting his arm, and she then draped it around her neck.

"Captain, but you're in no condition to try to support me. Attend to yourself." Chakotay said, but that did not make Janeway alter her actions in any manner.

"You're the one hurt the most, I seemed to come out spared of the worse injuries. Somehow I have a feeling that has something to do with you."She said with a small smile. He returned it as she helped him to his feet. Once they both found their balance they began to examine the terrain around them.

"I can see why there would be a distress signal here, but . . . what did it come from?" She asked. Further inspection proved no more useful than what their mere eyes could see.

"Captain, there's something moving up there." Chakotay said, staring up the base of an easy sloping hill, made solely of boulders and gravel.

Kathryn turned on her heel, and thought that she was seeing a moving rock at first. She then realized it was an alien, cleverly camouflaged against his surrounding terrain. He was at least five inches taller than herself, and lacking a nose. Two large lumps resembled that of dinosaur's, placed atop the head. It was wearing armor that easily blended with the rocks and a weapon that were pointed directly at the two who stood there. Chakotay reached in his pocket, pulling out a phaser that he wasn't even sure was still in tact. He pointed at the alien coming down the mountain, when he saw Kathryn lurch dangerously backwards. He looked over, seeing a near exact alien standing with Janeway in his grasp. A gun was pointed at her cranium, a red glow emitting from its core.

"Alpha, tell the lesser to lower his weapon." He said in a watery voice, as though he had been drowning and spitting up water. Kathryn nodded to Chakotay, who obediently tossed the phaser onto the ground. The other alien walked down to them, not disturbing a rock beneath his feet.

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Star Ship Voyager. We mean no harm to you or-" Before she could properly finish her statement, the male had swiped her across the face. His hands resembled that of a crab's, and were apparently just as hard. Janeway was nearly knocked out, and Chakotay instantly jumped to defend her. His fist came across the attacker's face, and for a blinding moment of pain, he thought he had missed and struck the boulder behind him. He looked at the alien, and then at his painfully red fingers. The alien raised his arm to strike back, but Chakotay rolled out of the way.

"Move from your position and the Alpha dies." The one who was holding her said. Chakotay looked from the gun to the other alien. The one with the ability to fire had fingers, while the one who had struck her did not. It seemed as though they were more mutations than anything else, but perhaps it had something to do with ranks. He looked to Kathryn, who was limp in her captor's arms.

"What are you going to do with her?" He demanded, eyes glancing toward the weapon warily. An ugly, sharp-toothed smile pulled up on the alien's faces.

"You will make fine meals." He said, to which they gurgled in laughter. Spirit sinking, Chakotay saw Kathryn's eyes open. She was clearly alert, and easily broke away from the alien's loose grip.

Chakotay took her distraction to snatch the phaser from the ground, pointing it squarely at the alien's chest. Not waiting to see what it would do, he fired the laser without thought. It cut through the thick armor, but didn't stun him as effectively as he would have liked.

"Run!" He yelled to Janeway, and they both took off across the rocky planet. Kathryn tapped her communication badge, addressing the man currently in charge.

"Janeway to Kim!" She called out.

"Kim here, what's happening, Captain? We lost track of the shuttle after it got within the planet's atmosphere. We've been trying to scan through it for the past hour."

"There was an accident, can you get us out of here?" She asked, trying to get strait to the point. Their lives were at stake, she didn't have much time to waste in explanations that could wait.

"No, there's some sort of barrier blocking our transporters. We're trying to find alternatives."

"That isn't good enough, we're about to be killed! We're being chased by an unknown species of alien, please hurry with your alternative!" She said, darting over a rocky hillside. Almost losing her footing, she felt Chakotay grab onto her arm. She glanced over at him, his face bleeding and sweat drops mingling in his hair. Still, his eyes contained that same fire, and passion. She found all the hope she needed in those eyes.

Glancing behind him, he could see the aliens had called for backup. A dozen or so were emerging from holes in a distant hillside, and the two that had confronted them were in lead.

"Captain, we've found something." Harry's voice came again.

"Go ahead . . . " She said, being pulled behind a boulder by Chakotay. A large chunk was suddenly taken out of the edge in a burst of red light.

"Looks like we're going to be cooked before served now . . . " Chakotay said, glancing around the edge and firing the phaser.

"We're firing on the barrier, and have made a thin break through it. We can transport from the crash site, but only one person at a time. It's trying to rebuild itself, and you need to hurry."

Janeway didn't find this the least bit comforting, seeing that a pack of carnivorous aliens was standing between them and the crash site.

"Come on . . . maybe we can go around this hill and come out by the site. How will we know where the beam is?" He asked, leading Kathryn by the hand upon strange instinct.

She didn't bother objecting to it, since he was in the lead, and her vision was still blurred slightly.

"Like that." She said, rounding the large boulders and pointing to a blue illuminated light coming from a small hole in the sky. It was barely thicker than a pencil, but obvious to spot against the black sky.

"Harry, when we came in through the barrier, are you certain that we won't be torn apart? It happened to our ship. The hull was split open." Chakotay addressed him this time.

"Yes, but that's why we're getting you one at a time. Your molecules may be torn, but they will reassemble with the transporter's regular means of putting you back together. You won't feel anything. It's like a normal transportation, just slower. Together we're afraid you might . . . mix."

They were now only a few feet from it, when a red light passed right by Kathryn's head. Chakotay turned, phaser pointed at them. There were too many now, and most of them were charging their weapons for a fatal attack.

"Kathryn, go!" He demanded, reaching in his pocket.

"Not until I'm sure you're behind me!" She responded, but Chakotay had already turned to her. He heard a beam fire, and shoved her into the light. His body was hit squarely in the back, just as his hand pressed something into her palm. She was consumed by a white light. Chakotay never followed.

* * *

Weeping into the pillows, she clutched something in her palm. She thought she was about to be sick, and coughed and gagged, though was unable to relieve herself of the sorrow through means of throwing up. There was supposedly nothing that could relieve her of such pain, and as she opened her palm, she looked at the item Chakotay had given her. In the last moments of his life Chakotay had confessed a deep secret without any words said.

The golden ring sparkled in the dim candle light, and the diamond glittered beautifully. She looked over it, finger tips brushing the warm metal. She hadn't let it go since she had pulled it from the small black box in which he had given it to her.

She stood finally, fighting back another sob, and walked into the bathroom. To her surprise, she found a bath already prepared for her. She looked around, momentarily, but sighed.

She must have prepared it when she wasn't thinking, and relieved herself of her robe. She settled herself in and closed her eyes. Her mind had been so stressed lately she wasn't surprised that she would forget most of her actions. She heaved a sigh, when a noise outside her bath made her sit up.

"Who's there?" She demanded, pulling back the cream curtain slightly. No one was there, and she saw nothing out of the ordinary. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to figure out what she could possibly do to collect herself again.

It was simple, the solution she came up with, and it was to simply move on as though it hadn't happened.

She remember one night, in her quarters, when Chakotay had told her she would never be alone. He said he would face things with her. Where was he now? And at whose fault? She would never forgive herself for allowing it to happen.

Suddenly a beeping alerted her to someone being at her door, and she rose from the warm waters. She pulled on a white bathrobe, and addressed the person at the door.

"Come in." She said, sitting on the couch and waiting. When no one came, she spoke again.

"Computer, open the door." It complied, and only pulled back to reveal an empty doorway. She walked into the hallway, but saw no sign of who had been there. Going back inside and closing the door, she sank back onto to the couch. Rubbing her temple she wanted desperately to sleep, but knew what she would dream of

Resting her head on the back of the couch, she closed her eyes. She was so sleepy. She was almost . . . almost..._Thump!_

She sat up, hearing something move in her room. She looked around.

"Who's there?" She asked, standing again. No one was visible, but that didn't put her any more at ease. She briskly walked to the table where she picked up her badge, and pressed it. The word Chakotay almost escaped her lips. Biting it back, she said in a near whisper. "Tuvok . . . " She waited. No response. She tried again. Nothing.

Becoming concerned, she walked back into her bedroom and changed into her Captain outfit. She went to the door, hitting the button for it to open. Nothing.

"Computer, open door." She commanded.

"Cannot comply." It responded mechanically, not further explaining.

"Elaborate." She commanded, to which she received the same answer. With a slightly panicked air she realized she was trapped in her own room. The door and all commands had been working only moments before. She just needed to clear her thoughts and calm down. She materialized a coffee, and drummed her fingers as she drank. She suddenly dropped the cup, which shattered over the floor.

The ring. Where was the ring? Had she put it down? Beginning to lose her rational thinking, she ran around the room in a blind panic. Then, the glint of gold caught her eye. She breathed a sigh of relief, picking it up and putting it on her finger. It felt strange as she knelt on the floor, looking at it. It was so perfect.

The candles she had been using suddenly extinguished, going out with a wisp of smoke. She turned in the darkness, knowing there had been no increase of air flow to put out the candles. Something strange was going on.

"Who's here?" She demanded again, reaching for her phaser.

The plant behind her fell to the ground, and she turned. Nothing but a plant and scattered dirt. She spun back around, shocked as she found that she was looking at Chakotay. Not him, really, but her computer had been turned to face her. His profile was up, and hers next to his.

She walked over to it slowly, staring into the screen. Under her name, she could see one of the pros on her profile had been underlined. A strong woman with good control and sensibility. She looked over at his, smiling fondly. She then noticed something else, as she scanned the profile, certain random letters seemed to be capitalized.

CommaNder ChakOTay

Species: HumAn

Gender: MaLe

Hair colOr: Black

Eye color: BrowN

Affiliation: StarflEet (2348 – 2368, 2371-present)

MaquIs (2369 – 2371)

Posting: VaL Jean cOmmanding officer

USS Voyager first officer

Rank: Lieutenant Commander (proVisional)

SErial nUmber: 47-A-612

She smiled, tears streaming down her face as she looked around. "So you're still here..." She nodded to herself, and then turned to the doors. "So I guess we're ready for another adventure?" Pressing the button they opened for her now. She went on with a replenished air of confidence and pride, going to take her position as Captain once more.

* * *

A/N: I hate to ruin the fun for the people who would have figured it out, but I decided I might as well come out with it. The last letters aren't randomnly like that, there's an easy to read message in that. Just as a side note, I didn't put much into this, I was just entertaining a fancy I had while watching the Voyager marathon.

Note to JadziaKathryn: I'm sorry about the error I made, and originally I had Tuvok there. An episode came on, however, where Harry was actually in charge. Tuvok might have been with Janeway and Chakotay, and I just didn't remember. I still left Janeway talking with Harry, though, since he would be the one scanning. I think. x-x

I was a Trekkie when I was little, and I've just now began the journey of rediscovering it. I grew up watching the Voyager characters, and just couldn't let them go. I need a fully fledged Trekkie to take me under their wing. xD;

I've altered it and corrected a few mistakes I found. I also took your advise about the font, seeing that I was typing it in one where it didn't make such a dramatic difference. My mistake for not looking at it after it was uploaded. Thank you for the suggestions!


End file.
